Adoption and Open Adoption

Adoption is the establishment of a legally recognized, lifelong relationship between adoptive parents and the adoptee(s). Adoption can occur in many ways. Adoption can also affect or effect children depending on the age and what they went through before you adopted them. Adoption can also affect the siblings you already have. Open adoption is a good option for some families, but for others it can still be difficult.

Open adoption is one plan because the medical information is readily available.

If the adoptive parents end up having questions they can usually call the original parents. There’s also a wider circle of family and supporters. On average, almost sixty to seventy percent of domestic adoptions are open. (Adamec, Pierce). On the other hand some of the downfalls on open adoption can be boundary issues. Some birth families may struggle with knowing how they fit into the big picture. Communication is a big part in this process or in any of the adoption processes. Adoption can be so special though, it can have an impact on any family or any child’s life.

Adoption is a special and unique experience for every individual involved. The way the adoption process is so special and unique is because of all the people you get to meet. There’s an adoption community, it might be small, but it’s powerful. There’s such a great and unique experience that not many people either get to experience or really understand unless you get involved in it. “For those involved with adoption,explaining the process can seem like a burden. Natural families do not have to deal with all the extra questions. The don’t have to defend their choices. When you’re in the adoption community, you will have to face this” (“Why is Adoption”). Another thing about adoption being so special is the humility. Your adoption experience with be humbling. Here’s an experience from a adoptive parent; “When I met my son at the hospital for the first time, my first thoughts were that he was small and he was real. His birth mom was holding him up for us to see. Overwhelming feelings came when I realized we were responsible for this little guy. It was bittersweet because of birth mom’s loss. We wanted to be excited and take pictures; however, I felt that I should not get carried away. It felt wrong to be showing off my gain while birth mom sat there going through this grief. We wanted to remain humble. She was so strong keeping a brave face the whole visit” (“Why is Adoption”). With that story, with very little mentioned, you can still see how overwhelming and how special the experiences can be for the child, the mom and the adoptive mom. The transformation in parenthood can be a process. “Adoption is one of those things I’m most grateful for. Through the transformative process of adopting and by having humility, a family and a new community are gained. Adoption isn’t something you go through and finish; it’s lifelong” (“Why is Adoption”).

Adoption is a genuine experience, but some children can be affected. “Children who were adopted as infants are affected by adoption throughout their lives. Children adopted later in life come to understand adoption during a different development stage. Those who have experienced trauma or neglect may remember such experiences, which further complicates their self-image. ” (Brodzinsky D”. That statement shows how children gain an understanding of adoption as they grow from infancy through their teenage life. Telling a child about his or her adoption story at earlier ages may help parents to become comfortable with the language of adoption and the child’s birth story. Children need to know that they were adopted. Teenage adoptees’ developmental task is to establish an identity while actively seeking independence and separation from family. Adopted teenagers will want to know about their genetic history and how they are unique. They will reflect themselves and their adoptive family to determine similarities and differences. Their questions may diminish until a new cognitive and psychosocial level is reached. The grief that their child experiences is real and should not be denied or avoided.

Adoption is not better or worse than having a natural family; it is just different. What’s great about adoption and what makes it different are three things: the community, the humility it brings, and the transformations it cultivates.

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