Old Traditions: Modern-Day Transformations
The ultimate goal of any link between couples is marriage. Various ways are used today for which can be used to help individuals to meet that someone special; whether you meet them on your own, get introduced by friends, through blind dates, or website dating; there is something out there to assist you. But there is an old tradition from the Medieval Era in history that is making its way back into Modern-day society and relationships – arranged marriages.
Modern-day India has changed the environment of how arranged marriages have evolved. The most noticeable change is, “the potential bride or groom has the option of rejecting the mate chosen by the family, (Sebastian 2018).” The couple now has a say in the marital arrangements after they have been introduced by both parents. The couple can now take their time in getting to know each other better with no time restraints to hurry up and make wedding plans.
During the Renaissance Era, the arrangements were made by the bride and groom parents only, with no feedback from the couples. Medieval Times states they did not have the privilege to get to know each other first. A notice would be placed on the church door immediately after the arrangement was made announcing the couple’s upcoming marriage.
Modern-day specific criterions used by India to determine the couple’s compatibilities are: the reputation of the families, equal wealth, a shared religion, being members of the same caste, and whether each person follows a vegetarian diet or not (Sebastian 2018). The groom’s, profession is more important than the bride’s profession unless she is a doctor, lawyer, or a teacher.
The Renaissance Era couples’ main criterion was a dowry had to be paid by the time of the wedding. A dowry is a monetary donation paid to the boy that the girl wants to marry by her family (Medieval Times). But per Everyday Health (2017), “In India today, a dowry is now officially a crime, although in many cultures, a symbolic dowry is still awarded.””
Another reason couples are turning to arranged marriages is due to the high divorce rate in the United States and other countries. Some Modern-day dating singles are hoping this type of arrangement will help them find a mate (Sebastian 2018). There is the belief among some to have exaggerated expectations that a marriage based on love will always be happy and fulfilling (Sebastian 2018).
The Renaissance Era did not consider divorce as a factor, because being in love or living happier was not one of its expectations. Medieval Times gives the following reasons for marriages being dissolved: the man or woman not being of legal age, boy’s – 14 and girl’s – 12, the couple not being Christian, and if they had a previous monastic or religious vow.
The new twist of Modern-day society dating is Dateship, which is two romantic systems combined: dating and courtship (Owen Strachan 2014). Dating was the low-key way men and women got to know each other and courtship was the roadmap the couples used to defined where the relationship was heading (Strachan 2014).
Dateship used steps just as the Victorian Era used steps to help guide the couples to marriage. Dateship had four steps while courtship had three.
- Step 1 – Interested Friendship – low-key dating, accountability to one another.
- Step 2: purposeful dating – first date goes well; the man asks the woman’s father figure to continue with the dating process.
- Step three: Serious Courtship – If the relationship is still going well, the man gets the father permission to court his daughter, if yes is given, they began courting seriously and discussing marriage.
- Step four: The Big, Ask – the man asks the woman’s father for permission to marry his daughter, if she says, yes, they get engaged and then marry (Strachan 2014).
While the Victorian Era was seen as the era of romanticism, couples fashioned their relationships after Queen Victoria and her family. The Victorian Era states they were seen as the idols of the era and having the perfect family relationship. There were strict steps for courting, and it was assumed the couple would be married once the courting began.
The three steps the couples adhered to:
- Step One – Courtship-began immediately after the couple spoke to each other, they would go out for a walk and lastly started keeping company, or the man came to visit the woman.
- Step two – Engagement-the couples earned a little more freedom once they were engaged. They could hold hands in public, take walks alone and go on unchaperoned rides together. They could meet in the evening behind closed doors but was separated at night.
- The final step marriage – was only allowed if both, men and women were from the same class in society. Once the marriage occurred, the woman role was that of dutiful wife and mother (The Victorian Era).
Per Strachan (2014), Dateship isn’t ultimately about “yes” in human terms. It’s about seeking marriage in godly ways such that the man is ennobled, the woman is treated well, and Christ is honored.
In conclusion, whether you seek marriage through the old traditional ways of having your parents arrange and select a man for you to marry or you use new technological methods to venture into website dating platforms. You believe in romanticism or modeling your marriage after certain people within society or give the rules of Dateship a chance. Everyone is trying to find that man or women with whom they are compatible with. Trying to find that special person who will have a mutual respect for them and someone they can grow with it, then work together to find and create their own version of love and happiness.