What Brings you Joy

The other day, I was asked why I looked so youthful. (I am sure this person was trying to sell me something). My immediate reply was, “because I am happy.” And I am. This got me thinking: is happiness a choice? And if so, how do we cultivate happiness, and how does it affect our mental health?

Defining Happiness

When considering what brings you joy, it’s important to differentiate between the fleeting, exaggerated portrayals of happiness, such as those in fairy tales like *Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs*, where singing and dancing fill every moment, and a more sustainable, resilient form of happiness. I believe that individuals who choose to be happy and maintain a positive outlook on life are better equipped to handle sadness, change, and disappointment.

Happiness fosters mental resilience, enabling us to bounce back from negativity when confronted with life’s uncertainties.

Happiness as a Learned Skill

Being happy doesn’t mean denying negative emotions or pretending we’re cheerful all the time. Instead, it involves making the most of life during the good times and effectively coping with challenges. Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard described happiness as “a deep sense of flourishing, not a mere pleasurable feeling or fleeting emotion but an optimal state of being.” This perspective suggests that happiness is more about long-term contentment than temporary pleasure.

Psychologist Martin Seligman’s Theory of Learned Optimism underscores the role our cognitive processes play in our own happiness. According to this theory, focusing on positive aspects of life—such as character strength, positive emotions, and relationships—can make us more joyful and engaged. This approach doesn’t deny the existence of life’s negatives but argues that we can learn to be happier and more resilient by emphasizing the positive. In essence, happiness doesn’t depend on circumstances; it happens when we decide to be content.

Steps to Cultivate Happiness

If happiness can indeed be learned, how do we go about it? First, we must choose to be happy. This involves understanding what brings you joy and identifying what matters most in your life. Happiness is a byproduct of an engaged, connected, and meaningful existence. Long-term happiness and contentment stem from feeling in control of our lives, not from superficial factors like wealth or health. It’s about self-belief and being on the path you desire.

Additionally, it’s essential not to sweat the small stuff. Research indicates that when we focus less on everyday negatives and more on positive experiences, we tend to be happier overall. This doesn’t mean ignoring life’s ups and downs. By concentrating on what goes right instead of what goes wrong, we achieve longer-term contentment and greater resilience in dealing with negative moments.

The Pursuit of Growth

Another crucial aspect of happiness is having a mindset geared towards accomplishing more. Regardless of age, setting higher goals can increase life satisfaction. A 2011 study published in the *Journal of Consumer Research* found that individuals who set ambitious goals tend to be more satisfied than those with lower expectations. Progress toward our goals fosters happiness, and focusing on progress places us in a state of flow, which has been shown to enhance happiness.

Moreover, learning something new can significantly contribute to our happiness. While it might seem counterintuitive, engaging in new challenges builds self-confidence and keeps our minds sharp. Humans are wired for challenges, and stimulating activities help stave off boredom and foster a sense of achievement.

Living in the Present

Living in the moment is another key to happiness. Happy individuals understand that being present and experiencing the here and now contributes to a positive attitude. In a TED talk, Matt Killingsworth noted that people are happiest when their minds are focused on the present. “As human beings, we have this unique ability to have our minds stray,” Killingsworth said. “Maybe to really be happy, we need to stay completely immersed and focused on our experience in the moment.”

The Role of Introspection and Gratitude

Introspection is vital in maintaining happiness. It involves making a conscious effort to evaluate our thoughts and behaviors. By stepping back and examining our actions, we can determine if they contribute to our happiness or if changes are necessary. Introspection allows us to identify what we’re doing right and what needs improvement. It helps us focus on what we can control and avoid unnecessary anxiety.

Finally, cultivating an attitude of gratitude is essential. When we focus on giving gratitude, we learn to appreciate what is working in our lives rather than dwelling on what isn’t. Gratitude elicits positive emotions, reduces anxiety, and strengthens connections with others. And, of course, don’t forget to smile!

In conclusion, happiness is more than a fleeting emotion; it’s a choice and a practice that can significantly enhance our mental health. By understanding what brings you joy, setting meaningful goals, living in the moment, engaging in introspection, and embracing gratitude, we can cultivate a more joyful and resilient life. Happiness is not merely a reaction to our circumstances but a proactive decision to embrace life’s possibilities with optimism and grace.

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