All Aspects of Arranged Marriage
Marriage, a formal union through which two individuals make their personal relationship public as a couple, is one of the most significant decisions that people make in their lifetime. While love and physical attraction are predominant factors in choosing a spouse in Western societies, Eastern societies such as India and certain regions of Africa often adhere to the tradition of arranged marriages, where parents play a pivotal role in selecting their children's life partners. This essay explores the nuances of arranged marriages, evaluating their benefits and drawbacks, while considering the cultural and societal implications that accompany them.
Arranged marriages, where parents orchestrate the union of their children, can be highly successful, particularly when the couple's preferences and desires are considered. Statistics indicate that many such marriages flourish when parents seek potential partners for their children but also value their input. This approach to marriage emphasizes not only romantic chemistry but also the opportunity to grow within a committed partnership. Advocates of arranged marriages argue that bypassing the initial "getting-to-know-you" phase allows couples to focus on shared values and long-term goals from the outset. Despite these potential advantages, arranged marriages are often criticized for limiting individual freedom and potentially leading to coerced unions, particularly for women. Nonetheless, pragmatic motivations for marriage should not be dismissed as barriers to enduring and successful relationships. Indeed, arranged marriages can be just as successful or unsuccessful as those based on personal choice.
The involvement of parents in selecting a spouse is not inherently detrimental; in fact, it can offer valuable insights into the partner's intentions and character. Proponents of arranged marriages contend that young individuals often prioritize fleeting physical attraction over more substantial considerations when choosing a partner. They argue that love, while important, can be too ephemeral a foundation for a lifelong commitment. Arranged marriages, being more analytical, benefit from the objectivity that parents provide. Typically, in such unions, the husband and wife share similar cultural traditions, which simplifies their journey as a couple and fosters a stronger bond. As a result, these marriages often culminate in robust, lasting relationships. The article "Burdens and Benefits of Arranged Marriages" highlights research conducted in India, suggesting that couples in arranged marriages experience longer-lasting love and have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who choose their own partners. This underscores the potential for arranged marriages to foster enduring and flourishing relationships. Furthermore, parental involvement can be advantageous, as they possess a deep understanding of their child's desires and well-being. Arranged marriages frequently occur between individuals from the same cultural and religious backgrounds, promoting a shared sense of identity and values. Many parents arrange marriages to ensure their children find partners who uphold similar traditions and religious beliefs.
Nevertheless, arranged marriages often restrict young individuals from choosing their life partners, leading to feelings of powerlessness if they are compelled to marry someone they do not genuinely like. While the purported motivation behind arranged marriages is the happiness of the children, parents often exert significant pressure, believing that their experienced judgment is superior. Even if the prospective couple accepts their parents' choice, they may feel a lack of control over their future. As illustrated in Kavita Das's article, "India Has Changed a Lot in 70 Years. But Arranged Marriage Remains the Norm," individuals may feel they lose their identity upon marriage, facing expectations to relocate, leave their families, or abandon careers. Additionally, refusing an arranged marriage can be perceived as disrespectful to cultural and religious norms, instilling fear and resentment on an otherwise joyous occasion. Some parents prioritize finding wealthy partners, emphasizing financial stability over personal compatibility. Consequently, individuals in arranged marriages may feel pressured, even if they are not overtly forced, to comply with their parents' wishes. Despite shared cultural and religious backgrounds, personality clashes may still arise, complicating the marital relationship.
Arranged marriages have paved the way for many couples to eventually fall in love and build fulfilling, happy relationships. However, not all arranged marriages are successful, and some result in unhappy unions, leaving spouses trapped in unfulfilling marriages for life. Because these marriages are typically orchestrated with matrimony in mind, couples need not worry about the relationship's trajectory; marriage is often the intended outcome. In conclusion, arranged marriages present a complex tapestry of cultural traditions, familial expectations, and individual desires. While they offer a structured approach to finding a life partner, the potential pitfalls of limited personal agency and cultural pressure cannot be ignored. Ultimately, the success of an arranged marriage depends on the balance between parental involvement and the couple's autonomy, emphasizing the importance of mutual understanding and shared values in building a strong, lasting union.
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