One Aspect of Therapy Sessions is Empathy

"Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another," - Alfred Adler. In the early 1900s, therapy treatment methods were mostly 'counselor-centered.' This practical approach focused on the teachings, suggestions, mentoring, and influencing skills of the counselor. It remained prevalent until Carl Rogers introduced client-centered therapy in the 1930s. Initially, he referred to his method as non-directive therapy. Today, it is known as the Rogerian Theory or person-centered therapy.

Rogers believed that building a close, compassionate, and genuine relationship could unlock the client's real potential for personal growth. He understood that successful therapy sessions did not depend on the therapist's education, but instead on three consistent aspects of their attitude: congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathy.

While client-centered therapy is a secular practice, its pivotal points are firmly rooted in biblical truths. Congruence refers to the therapist's openness and genuineness, shedding professional façades. This doesn't mean that therapists must open up about their personal issues; instead, it encourages them to adopt a transparent, wholesome approach towards the client. As the Bible says, "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is holy…".

The second aspect involves the therapist demonstrating unconditional positive regard. This notion speaks to "accepting the client totally for who they are without evaluating or censoring, and without disapproving of specific feelings, actions or characteristics". There's no more fitting example than the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. After the son returns home, acknowledging his sins and expressing a perceived unworthiness to be called his father's son, his father responds with compassion. "His father saw him, felt compassion, ran towards him; embraced him and kissed him" before his son could utter a word. Like the forgiving father in this story, therapists showing unconditional positive regard refrain from interrupting, judging, or offering unsolicited advice. By infusing the therapy environment with a sense of safety devoid of judgment, Rogers believed clients will feel at ease to share all of their emotions.

The final attitude aspect for client-centered therapy is empathy. This involves an attempt by the therapist to "appreciate the client's situation from the client's point of view, showing an emotional understanding of and sensitivity to the client's feelings throughout the therapy session". This can be manifested in many ways such as maintaining eye contact while the client is speaking, listening to what they are saying and trying to understand their perspective. A powerful technique to achieve this is reflection which entails "paraphrasing and/or summarizing what a client has just said". "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls". This scripture illustrates how Jesus shows empathy to everyone and suggests we should also.

Although biblical truths underpin client-centered therapy, there are also limitations that can undermine spiritual health. The positive feature of congruence has limitations; despite the therapist's duty to maintain an open heart, "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick". While the Bible promotes authenticity, accomplishing it is often easier said than done.

Unconditional positive regard also poses a challenge. We are called to love others based on the way God loves us. The old adage "love the sinner, hate the sin" encapsulates this challenge. This aspect could easily mislead a therapist! As Christians, our mandate is to love everyone, just as Christ did. However, we do not have to endorse all their actions. Sometimes, we have to advocate for the punishment of those we care for. To quote Jezebel: "So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow".

While empathy should ideally know no bounds, the goal of fruitful therapy could go awry if the client becomes excessively self-focused. Just as illustrated in the prodigal son's request, "Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me". This statement not only depicts the son’s selfishness—which is a sin in itself—it also highlights the poignant side of empathy in the subsequent part when the scripture states, "And the father divided his property between his two sons". Consequently, a therapist could inadvertently do their client a disservice by helping them become overly self-focused in a misguided attempt to remain empathetic.

Carl Rogers created an amazing baseline for therapists to lay a foundation of congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathy with their clients. However, that's just it. It's a great starting point. As Christians, we are called to be genuine, non-judgmental, and empathetic towards others. We are called to love others, but a sin is still a sin and should still be branded as such. Rogers' theory behind client-centered therapy is a reminder that we are all God's people, and He created each of us with a purpose. Maybe instead of having the client sift through their own lives to see what God's plan is, we as Christian counselors, should walk alongside them to help them seek God for healing. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your path."

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