The Importance of Respect

Stereotypes can cause a great deal of pain and are generally considered taboo, but some can be positive. Such as: Chinese parents put a great deal of effort into making their children successful, which is almost always defined by the prospective wealth of their child’s future career. Because the results are positive, Americans generally reckon that there is not much harm in the notion. However, in the piece “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan, the protagonist, Jing-mei recounted her childhood where this exact stereotype was her reality… and her curse.

Jing-mei’s mother was strong in the resolve to make her daughter the best version of herself possible, which she believed would be becoming a piano savant. However, as a young girl Jing-mei could not see past what she perceived as excessive and overwhelming expectations due to a fear of impending failure. Because of this, Jing-mei developed a strong resentment towards her mother and major respect issues. Due to a fundamental lack of respect, Jing-mei dishonored herself as well as her family because she did not respect her duty, nor devote herself to it.

Respect is one of the three main pillars that support all Coast Guard operations. Respecting others’ wishes means you appreciate them as much as one of your own. Throughout Jing-mei’s story we learn about her mother’s wish: that Jing-mei work tirelessly to become the best version of herself. However, Jing-mei did not value her mother’s wish, in fact she resented it. She did this because she was overwhelmed by her mother’s high hopes and her own frequent failures. She felt constant pressured to satisfy her mother, which in Jing-mei’s mind meant becoming a “genius”. This resulted in her rudimentary fear of failure, which all people share, to be magnified and caused a great deal of inner turmoil. Her internal conflict manifested into an external one when Jing-mei finally reached a breaking point and said, “I won’t let her change me, I promised myself. I won’t be something I’m not”. In this moment and in this promise to self, Jing-mei had made a choice. Jing-mei decided that her own happiness was significantly more important than her mother’s. So much so, that if Jing-mei’s mother got in the way of her happiness a fight would likely ensue. Her promise was one of disrespect, but despite Jing-mei’s following actions, her mother continued to labor. She selflessly exchanged cleaning services for piano lessons with a neighbor in an attempt to help Jing-mei reach her potential. Yet Jing-mei still did not respect her mother’s sacrifices, nor put forth any effort to acknowledge them.

Jing-mei’s mother showed great sacrifice of self and devotion to her duty as a mother when she arranged for lessons with the neighbor. Still, Jing-mei did not appreciate any of this. Devotion to duty means that you commit yourself wholeheartedly to any obligation, and Jing-mei’s duty as the daughter was to learn to play the piano. Unfortunately, she sought out every way not to devote herself to her mother’s wish, because she lacked respect for the mission. Jing-mei stated outright that, “I was determined not to try”. She soon found out that her teacher was nearly deaf and blind, therefore unable to sense mistakes in Jing-mei’s playing. She saw weaknesses and exploited them. Jing-mei had an amazing opportunity, but due to disrespect for her mother, she intentionally did not devote herself to her duty.

Honor is the final leg on which all Coast Guard personnel stand. It is a combination of respect and devotion to duty, both of which Jing-mei lacked. Honor means that you are able to respect yourself and be respected due to hard work and integrity. Training Center Cape May’s definition of honor is, “Integrity is our standard. We demonstrate uncompromising ethical conduct and moral behavior in all of our personal and organizational actions. We are loyal and accountable to the public trust.” Jing-mei lacked honor because she lacked integrity. She cheated herself and her instructor with every opportunity. Her actions were incredibly immoral, unethical and untrustworthy. After several weeks of lessons Jing-mei’s mother and instructor had decided to enter Jing-mei into a talent show. But Jing-mei had nothing to show for all those lessons. Every time her mother cleaned the neighbor’s apartment proved only to be a wasted effort. Nothing was gained from any of her lessons because of her commitment to not try. She did not respect her mother, her instructor or, as a result, herself. On the night of the talent show Jing-mei’s mother invited several friends and family so that she could show off her daughter’s new talent. But this talent did not exist. When Jing-mei performed, it was hardly a performance at all. Jing-mei failed and knew it. She dishonored herself, as well as her mother, who had so much faith in her daughter’s potential.

Jing-mei’s resentment of her mother ultimately lead to her own failure because she was disrespecting and dishonoring herself the whole time, just like anyone else who does not uphold our core values. While analyzing “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan, I realized a great deal about Coast Guard values, specifically relating to their hierarchy. Of all the pillars which make up the Coast Guard’s foundation, respect is required to be the strongest. Nobody could devote themselves to anything without respect for the mission at hand. And without that devotion to duty, having honor is impossible because the individual has done nothing to deserve respect, nor shown any scrap of integrity. In conclusion, regardless of leader or a follower position, respect must always be central to all people. 

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