The Difference between Women and Men
For this paper, I will be writing about gender roles. More specifically, I will focus on the gender roles of both genders making the first move to get into a relationship. In this day and age, the difference between women and men seems to have decreased from how it was in the past. For example, it is more acceptable now than before to be a stay-at-home dad. We can see, from the statistics provided by the National At-Home Dad Network, that there now are 1.4 Million Stay-At-Home Dads (a number that has doubled over the last 10 years) . (Latshaw, Sec.2) We are more open to many more things. But what about making the first move to get into a relationship? Two of my female friends on campus liked certain guys on campus. They did not know how to approach the situation and asked two of their friends for advice. Both of these people told them to never make the first move as a girl because it would not work out if they did. They were told that if they made the first move towards a guy, the guy would assume the girl to be either slutty or desperate. They were also told that it would take the masculinity away from the guy if they made the first move. In my opinion, this is a horrible mentality that sets us back decades. I told them to go for it and to not listen to the previous advice they were given. They both listened to my directions and both of them are now in a relationship with the guy they made the first move towards.
Girls are taught by either their parents, friends, older siblings, or people in our society, that there are many problems with asking a guy out. There are six reasons that I have heard multiple times in my life, on why girls should not ask a guy out.
Our writers can help you with any type of essay. For any subjectGet your price
How it works
The first one would be because assertiveness is closely connected to aggressiveness. In our society, we learn that the ideal woman knows when to be passive and let a man take the lead. This means that if they ask a guy out, they would look too masculine. My issue with this, is that it teaches girls that guys determine relationships.
The second problem is, that it seems to emasculate the guy. When I tell people that it was my girlfriend who pursued me, people often say, so she is the one who is wearing the pants in your relationship . I have learned to ignore these derogatory comments, but it only proves my point of how big of a taboo it still is to have a girl make the first move towards a guy. Women learn that by asking out a guy, means that the relationship is already dead before it starts because they stole the role of the guy to be the one who is masculine and leads the relationship. My belief is that men who are so insecure as to say that a girl took their masculinity away because of this, are men who are not worth dating. In my opinion, there are also men who will appreciate a girl taking the initiative and taking away the pressure from them.
As I said before, girls are told that chasing after guys makes them seem desperate. Women are dissuaded from chasing men because it suggests that she is impatient and tries to get things done by force. I have heard a guy at a party say that The only reason a girl asks out a guy is because she is not attractive enough for men to come to her. This only shows the horrendous mentality people have towards those women who are confident enough to make the first move. On the other side of the spectrum, many guys I know think that pursuing a girl, even after being told off multiple times, shows that they are determined rather than seeing it as creepy or desperate. These double standards are ridiculous and should not exist.
Our fourth problem is that men are taught to have control over all the decisions in a relationship. In most places, it is believed that men should be the head of a relationship. Most of the men’s authority comes from being able to make the decisions in a relationship. There are many examples out there that show how there are still duties that are considered to be solely a male’s duty. Proposing is one of those examples, because it is still considered abnormal for a woman to propose to a man. Men that are proposed to by their girlfriend are often not considered to be real men . I understand that there are situations where it is better to request the assistance of your boyfriend, but relying on your boyfriend to make every decision is excessive. Understand, there is a difference in liking a guy who takes the lead and having him make every decision for you. It takes a lot of courage for a woman to ask a man out and gender roles should not stand in the way of women wanting to do this.
There are many movies, where women who are within a position of authority are shown to be cold-hearted and bitchy. The movie, The Devil Wears Prada is a prime example. This is the fifth problem. Because of these kinds of movies and other reasons, women conclude that showing any kind of confidence takes away from their sex appeal. This, in my eyes, could not be farther away from the truth. According to me, it emphasizes a woman’s passion and willingness to take risks. Communication between women and men is the most important part of a relationship, but this will not happen if all we do is tell women to be passive. This is why our society needs to stop idealizing women who are passive, because the only thing it will do is make relationships even more difficult.
The final and most important issue is that women are seen to be rude if they express their desires. We need to put a stop towards making women feel guilty for having desires. Women are entitled to speak their mind. We all want some things in life for ourselves, so why should women hold back that desire? It is perfectly normal to ask for something as long as you are not forcing anyone to follow your demands. If a woman wants to ask out a guy, she should do it and no one should shame her for making the first move.
The solution for this problem is education. We need to educate young children, both male and female, that there is no issue for them to do things that are considered to be for the opposite gender. Asking each other out is one of these things, but this is only a small part of a broad problem. We, as grown-ups, have to stop putting labels of femininity and masculinity on actions and items. The store, named John Lewis, did exactly this when they stopped dividing clothes in the children’s sections by gender. Emine Saner wrote an article in The Guardian that goes more in depth about how this came to be, but at the end in the article it says It’s about expressing your style and being able to choose what you want without having to be told that, because of your sexual characteristics, you have to shop in a certain way. (Par.10) This is not only for clothes, but for almost anything in life. Why should there be labels on what is male and female? We should cut away these labels and just let our preferences decide on what we want, not be forced by labels towards making a specific decision.
We as adults need to take these labels away and teach the future generation to make choices in life that feel right to them and are not influenced by gender roles. If we are able to take this step, we will have more freedom in life and we will be able to follow the path we want to without being pressured down a certain path because of the gender you are.