Parenting Challenges: Special Children and Typical Children
All impose severe identity crisis and role restrictions even in knowledgeable parents.. In some conditions, as in the case of physical challenges, the child needs physical reassurance and support from the parents against those conditions of cognitive deficits in which the demands are always parent’s constant attention and feedback. As far as autism is concerned, the child’s deficits
are many namely social, emotional, communicational, sensual, as well as behavioral.
Symptoms are usually identified between one and two years of age. Long lasting problems may include issues in creating and keeping relationships, maintaining a job, and performing daily tasks.
Here the parents have to constantly shift their focus across these domains so as to make the child lighter and better. Here the parenting stress is not solely due to the management of child’s behavior. But it is due to the financial requirements, social requirements, inter personal requirements and socio demographic requirements posited for the activity.
Both parenting stress and perceived parenting stress are higher for the parents with ASD children. Even though in most of the studies no difference were found between the parents of Intellectually Disabled and ASD children on parenting stress, much higher a difference was found between these groups and parents of typical children. Perceived parenting stress and quality of life of the mothers of special children were compared with that of the mothers of typical children (Kalarani KS, Dr Raakhee AS, Reshma SS) and found that perceived parenting stress was higher for special child’s mother where as within group differences were not significant ie between the mothers of children with ASD and Intellectually Disabled. In quality of life, special and typical mothers differed in physical aspect at 5 percent level. Depression, Anxiety and Marital discord are often reported as outcomes of disability stress Contextual factors associated with enhanced parental mood was studied by Colin G. Pottie et al and found that emotional and instrumental supports improved the moods but unsupportive aspects as well as child behavior which is disruptive depressed the mood.
Parenting so called normal children requires usual parenting skills like being a good model, managing one’s own emotions, being an authoritative , inculcate moral skills, responsibility skills ,social and emotional skills and so on. Shared aspects are minimum when both types of parents are compared. Its known that perceived stress often influence the coping. Stress dealing varies with respect to individual competencies, environmental resources, immediacy, multiplicity and chronicity of the events. Difference in the stress perception can either be due to the differences in the psychological make up or be due to the importance given to the stress. Mediating factors are often the financial and the feeling of control over the event.
Parenting stress will be higher during initial stages of diagnosis when’ ambiguous loss’(Pauline Boss) emerges and the five stages of coping accompanies. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance all can be noted. Parents go through stages of adjustment before accepting the fact that their child is special. If parents, for some reason or another could not come out of the denial, could find difficult in complying with the ongoing treatment and evaluations. On the other hand, if they accept the condition, interventions, secondary preventions and rehabilitations could sooner be initiated. Depression and anxiety are often noted among the parents of Intellectually Disabled and ASD. Lack of awareness, lack of resources and lack of effective social networks breed depression. For parents of Intellectually Disabled children, as they are aware of the incapacitating condition of the child, and as the child could reciprocate to at least a minimum level the possibility of developing an emotional bond with the child still exists. This less happens with a child with ASD. According to DSM 5, Intellectual Disability, is a developmental problem characterized by impairment in intelligence and adaptive behavior.
Intelligence Quotient will be below 70.As inAutism Spectrum disorder, where we have low functioning, moderate functioning and high functioning autism, there are gradations of adaptivity like mild, moderate, severe and profound in Intellectual disability also. So parenting aspects also varies across these continuums. Parenting is demanded even more than twenty four hours. Here time management and roles managements are compromised. Partner issues are often reported by some but some reports that new and strong bond wiith the partner develops because of the disabled child. Identity dilemma would be more for the parents of specialchildren as, the self differentiation of parent from the child is happening slow (psychological theories) Interview reports of mothers of thirty special children (Kalarani KS, Dr Raakhee SS), reveals that majority of the ASD mothers hopes that their child could one day at least communicate with them. Most of the ID mothers hope their child could take care of themselves. Even though most of the mothers did not report a perceived stress in parenting, many of them shared anxiety’s and worries about their child’s future and a lack of earning for themselves. On the other hand typical children’s mothers worry were around their child’s higher studies, behavior nuances and problems with attaining jobs.
Cultural variations do affect disability to some extent. In some cultures women considered responsible for giving birth to a child who is disabled. In the studies which compared both parent’s stress levels, mothers scored more. Some other studies also shows that not only did the partner support decreased the perceived parenting stress but also increased the quality of life. This is true for the typical children’s parents as well.
The gender of the disabled child influence the stress as reported by some studies( Vidya Bhushan et al ) but other studies don’t support the hypothesis .No difference in perceived stress with respect to gender found in a study conducted among mothers of special children (Kalarani et al 2018 ).Mental and Physical health are the other variables to be considered. More than an absence of mental illness like depression, it’s a complete psychological wellbeing. The coping skills we adopt, defense strategies we use and our perception of control over our life all add on to a full psychological wellness. Although we have problem focused coping, confrontative coping, emotion focused coping, positive reappraisal and all, The tendency to use avoidance coping or emotion focused alone seems to decrease the wellbeing of mothers of toddlers(Abdulla Faido et al)rather problem focused one increase it.
From studies we can infer that positive reappraisal and confrontation are to be used by the special children’s parents(Micheal E. Dunn, et al,2001)The author further insist problem focused style and social support seeking reduce depression. This is also applicable to the mothers of Intellectually weak children and the mothers of typical children. Defense styles are the mental mechanisms we use in the face of severe stressors where we detect that the protection of our ego is at risk. There are around forty four defense styles among which one we can choose at a point of time. Among them are immature, mature, and neurotic. Among them also no guarantee that a person uses a particular type of defense alone for eg mature. Because according to the experts defenses has their own evolutionary cycle across the age and development.(Cramer,2009).Some Indian studies shows that self sacrificing defense mostly used by the mothers having ASD children(Sajna AS, Kalarani KS,2015).No difference was noted between these group of mothers in distorting of image, maladaptive and adaptive defenses.
This study also explored the mental health of the mothers having children with autism and the mothers having normal children and it was found that they did not differ in the variables reality perception, personality integration, orientation to group and mastery of environment. But in the variable autonomy, the mothers with typical children differed Use of denial often compromise the Improvement in ASD or Intellectually Disabled.Continuous use of immature defenses can be avoided to prevent self harm. This is applicable to parents of all three groups who face severe stress in their life. Rather sublimation and humor along with seeking support can be used.
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