Methods and Cures for the Zombie Epidemic

Abstract

The Zombie Epidemic has finally been brought to an end as a cure has been created in a lab in rural Missouri after months of capturing zombies, testing them, and then using their DNA and blood samples to reverse their symptoms and return them to human form. After multiple attempts and failed experiments, scientist Madison Peavler discovered a way to do exactly that. This epidemic affected millions of people, and they can all be saved with the serum that has changed our world.

The epidemic was caused by a serious hormone imbalance in the nervous system that caused the body to shut down and secrete a new enzyme we have named peroxide. Perynoxide kept the brain at a barely functioning level and left the body highly regenerative and the patient immortal.

A Cure for the Zombie Epidemic

This scientific article covers the groundbreaking research and cures for the detrimental zombie epidemic of 2018. We will discuss the methods and trials that went on to find this cure and the great amount of pressure that was put upon Madison Peavler as she fought to develop the serum that saved us all.

Method

Participants

The participants in the wide-scale trial were zombies that were captured during the epidemic and did not want their names to be mentioned at this time.

Assessments and Measures

Each zombie went through the same process for over a process of a month. They were swabbed for bacteria and sweat, which was tested for toxins, and then had blood drawn to be tested for chemical imbalance. We only draw small doses of the blood at a time so we can draw more blood over periods of time. This method was used so that we could garner more accurate and timely results. This was the method that was used during the duration of the trial. The zombie was put through a series of tests at a time so that we could observe and make a note of their progress as time went on.

We noticed that all the zombies had the same hormone imbalance as all the others. They had severe bipolar disorder, and their readings were off the charts. For most of the zombies, this was the problem, and Madison Peavler’s serum balanced it all out. The hormones that were used in the serum helped to calm the zombies down, and they could now talk (they had severe memory loss causing them to forget words).
Now that the zombies could talk, they could tell scientist Madison Peavler what was wrong with them. The very first zombie was created when he was exposed to a very potent virus. This virus threw the zombie’s hormones into a frenzy, causing the first symptoms to be problems speaking and loss of motor skills. Then the skin began to atrophy, causing their greyish, damaged appearance. This became a massive epidemic because the virus is also highly contagious.

Results

The serum that Madison Peavler created cured the zombies for good. It is a one-time treatment that turns the zombies back into their human form for the rest of their lives.

References

1. “ZOMBIE RESEARCH SOCIETY.” Zombie Research Society, www.zombieresearch.org/.
2. Zielinski, Sarah. “The Curious World of Zombie Science.” Smithsonian.com, Smithsonian Institution, 18 Apr. 2011, www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-curious-world-of-zombie-science-176929961/.

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