Coping with Infidelity and Cheating
How it works
Some people seem to have the mistaken impression that relationships and cheating go together like peanut butter and jelly. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if that is the way you think…you’re serously buggin. Cheating is never ok, period. There is no excuse in my opinion. So, if you are in a relationship with a cheater you might want to reconsider the relationship, especially if they are a serial cheater and have cheated more than once. I’m not saying that cheating just once is OK, it’s never OK to cheat. But I will say that in a long term relationship sometimes things happen and if the cheater is truly sorry and if the cheating is actually against character for them, the two of you might be able to work things out. Of course, working through the betrayal and pain is by no means a guarantee.
It will be a hard, painful and uphill battle. It will take each person to commit 100% to doing what it takes to work things through and you both have to be aware that it can come back and haunt you at any time for the rest of your relationship. If you have just started a relationship with someone and you have found out that they have cheated, you really should consider moving on. As I said above, it’s not OK to cheat but sometimes in a long term relationship a shit can happen. But if your partner is cheating already and you haven’t even been together that long, what do you think will happen in the future? For the most part, the saying ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’ is very true.
An ongoing pattern of infidelity indicates some very severe character flaws and unless those core flaws are addressed and changed the pattern will continue. Is that the type of relationship you really want? If you’ve heard stories that the new person you’ve just started dating cheated on their ex, you may want to pay attention. You really should get to know them yourself and not buy into idle gossip, on the other hand, you don’t need to completely ignore it either. Keep your eyes open and don’t ignore the warning signs, you may live to regret it. When it comes right down to it, being faithful indicates someone who has a high level of maturity. For anyone who has been in a long term relationship, you know that you can get tempted over the years. It’s not always easy to say no to yourself. That is the difference between maturity and selfishness. Between honor and dishonor. Despite what some people may think, relationships and cheating do not go together. Don’t subject yourself to a lifetime of hurt, anger and resentment. If you are involved with a cheater decide the best course of action. If the relationship is new, you may want to move on. If the relationship has been going on for a long while and the cheating was a one time occurrence than you may be able to work it out, give it a try.