Parenting Styles and its Effects on Child Development

As you walk into a party, you may have noticed that there are several different types of social groups, typically consisting of people with similar personalities grouped together. There are those who quietly sit behind and observe everything, those who like to be at the center of attention, cracking jokes and goofing around, and those who like to talk to everyone. It may seem normal at a party or a social gathering to have different types of people, but have you ever wondered how each person’s personality can be shaped over the years? We are not born with a certain type of personality but instead are morphed into the individuals we are today by the influences and experiences we gain from our environments, especially during our formative years.

The people we come into contact with most frequently and learn from the most are our parents. They are the ones who teach us everything from how to walk to understanding what’s right or wrong. The early childhood years are a critical period of a child’s life. During this period, what a child learns from their surroundings can significantly contribute to the development of their personality. As a result, the most direct impact from a child’s surroundings is the role that a parent plays in their methods or practice of rearing a child. Parenting is not just a series of actions but a profound influence that sets the foundation for a child’s future personality and behavior.

According to Laurence Steinberg, a distinguished psychology professor and former president of the Division of Developmental Psychology of the American Psychological Association, parenting practices are defined as “directly observable specific behaviors that parents use to socialize their children.” Studies have suggested that parenting styles correlate with a child’s development, and each parenting style can have a distinct impact on the formation of the child’s personality. This connection underscores the importance of understanding the mechanisms through which parenting influences development.

The way a person is shaped can largely be due to the influences of their parents. This is evident in "The Glass Castle," a memoir written by Jeannette Walls, where she describes her childhood raised by an alcoholic father and a narcissistic mother. Their family lived differently than most families in our society. Jeannette and her three siblings were raised in a dysfunctional family where the parents were lax when it came to societal norms and believed in learning independently from mistakes. Although this allowed Jeannette and her siblings some degree of freedom, they eventually had to adopt the roles of their parents because they were lenient to the extent that they were unresponsive to the needs of their children. The portrayal of the Walls’ parents’ parenting styles can be seen throughout the book. One example is when Rex throws Jeannette into the pool multiple times despite her inability to swim because he wanted to teach her an important life lesson: “if you don’t want to sink, you better figure out how to swim” (Walls 66). As Jeannette and her siblings grew older, they began to realize the lack of maturity in their parents and had to become more independent due to their strong desires to move out.

Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist known for her research on parenting styles, classified these styles into three main categories: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. The last one, neglectful parenting, was added by Maccoby and Martin. The authoritarian style involves child-rearing practices that emphasize strict sets of rules, whereas permissive parents give their children a lot of freedom with few to no rules. The authoritative style exhibits a mixture of demandingness and warmth, characterized by a balance between authoritarian and permissive parenting. It is thought to be the most effective parenting style, associated with the most positive outcomes in child development (Kuppens and Ceulemans 2). Neglectful parenting, on the contrary, is characterized by a lack of authority and nurturance, such as love and emotional support. In "The Glass Castle," Jeannette’s parents, Rex Walls and Rose Mary, exhibited all these parenting styles at different times, but they were predominantly permissive and neglectful.

To understand the effects of a permissive parenting style as seen in "The Glass Castle," we must first define what exactly constitutes this style. In “Parent and Family Education,” Guy J. Manaster defines permissive parenting as:

"A parent may believe that society’s rules are too strict and place an unnatural burden of restriction and inhibition on the child. Or a parent may believe that children learn from mistakes and therefore allow a child to go a bit further or do a bit more than most parents would and thereby be permissive. Overpermissiveness implies allowing children to go so far that their behaviors are destructive to and interfere with an orderly home." (203)

As mentioned by Manaster, permissive parents believe that societal or household rules might inhibit a child’s optimal growth due to their experiences and the parenting they received when they were younger. In "The Glass Castle," Grandma Smith had rules that restricted Rose Mary’s behavior both in public and at home. This included guidelines on how she ought “to dress, how to talk, how to organize time, how to cook and keep house, how to manage finances…” (Walls 91). These restrictions influenced Rose Mary’s child-rearing practices because she disliked the rules that controlled every aspect of her life. She believed that children abiding by rules would grow up too conformed to society, which could lead to unimaginative children with no opinions of their own. Instead, Rose Mary and Rex Walls believed in the idea of trial and error, encouraging their children to explore on their own despite the potential dangers. For instance, after Jeannette suffered a severe burn from cooking hot dogs at the age of three, Rex Walls continued to urge her to play with fire, showing her how to pass her fingers through the flames to fight her own enemies (Walls 15).

An environment with essentially few to no rules can theoretically allow a child to develop optimally; however, studies have shown that this type of parenting can have negative effects. Cohen, Deborah, Rice, and Janet conducted a study examining the correlation between children’s academic success and parenting styles, providing evidence that high grades correlated with children who perceived their parents as more authoritative, rather than permissive or authoritarian.

Another parenting practice portrayed in "The Glass Castle" is the neglectful parenting style, characterized by low authority (permissiveness) and low nurturance (indifference). This style often leaves children feeling neglected and can lead to a lack of concern from the parents about their children’s well-being. Children in these environments may struggle to satisfy their basic needs or take on responsibilities beyond their years, often acting as the parent themselves. This type of parenting is ambivalent in terms of satisfying children’s desires and providing for basic needs. In a neglectful parenting practice, the lack of authority and concern can cause a child to mature more quickly than their peers, denying their needs for dependency and developing a strong motivation to achieve success in life.

In "The Glass Castle," Jeannette and her siblings live in extreme poverty, unable to afford food and basic necessities. Jeannette took on the head of the household role to provide for her younger siblings at the age of 13 because her parents were unable to fulfill these responsibilities. This experience forced Jeannette to mature quickly, learning to manage a tight budget and a busy work schedule to maintain the family. She grew up rapidly compared to her peers, driven by her desire to eventually become independent and move out to achieve a better life.

Both permissive and neglectful parenting styles contributed to the personalities of the Walls’ children. Initially, the neglect and lack of responsibilities from the parents influenced them negatively. Dangerous encouragement, such as playing with fire, skedaddling whenever a problem arose, and shouting out dislikes in public, misled the siblings at a young age. The children thought their parents’ actions were not wrong as long as they avoided trouble. However, as the Walls siblings grew older, they realized the way they lived was not right, developing their own sense of right and wrong as they observed differences between their family and others. They ultimately decided they didn’t want to live as their parents did when they became adults. Keeping this goal in mind, they grew to be more independent, motivating them to start their new lives from scratch and eventually achieve their dreams of living in New York and having jobs they truly enjoyed.

Although there were many negative influences, the permissive parenting style adopted by the Walls’ parents at times helped the siblings achieve success later in life. A significant aspect of permissive parenting comes from the desire for their children to succeed. Their parents emphasized the importance of education by homeschooling their kids despite living in poverty. This emphasis on education helped the siblings develop into mature and knowledgeable individuals capable of achieving a better life. Their belief in not conforming to societal rules fostered tenacity, making them unafraid to express their thoughts and brave enough to stand up for themselves.

In conclusion, the development of a child’s personality is profoundly influenced by parenting styles, as illustrated through the narrative of "The Glass Castle." The memoir provides a compelling case study on how permissive and neglectful parenting can shape children in both negative and positive ways. While the Walls’ parents’ inconsistent and often irresponsible parenting initially led to challenges and hardships, it also inadvertently instilled resilience, independence, and a strong drive for success in their children. Ultimately, while parenting styles play a crucial role in shaping personalities, individuals have the capacity to overcome negative influences and chart their own paths, as demonstrated by the Walls siblings’ journey to a more stable and fulfilling life. This underscores the complexity of personality development and highlights the importance of nurturing, balanced, and adaptable parenting in fostering well-rounded individuals.

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