I Want a Wife by Judy Brady: Evolving Gender Roles and Relationship Dynamics

From Brady's Definition to Modern Perspectives: The Evolution of the Wife's Role

Throughout the years, a wife has often been seen as someone who cooks, cleans, and cares for the children. This was how Brady defined the term wife. In Judy Brady’s essay “I Want a Wife,” she describes her opinion on a woman’s role as a wife with the mindset of a man. She also points out the different roles of a “wife” based on society during her time.

Brady daringly puts herself in a man’s shoes and, from a man’s perspective, describes a man’s viewpoint and expectations of what he thinks a wife is and should be. As the decades flew by since she wrote the essay, so has the role of a wife in many different types of families today. In today’s society, the term “wife” has taken on many different connotations since Judy Brady’s time. Those connotations include how gender roles are now reversed in some families and how males with a female gender identity can take on the role of being a wife.

As a developing society today, many ideas surrounding the term “wife” have changed since Judy Brady’s definition of a wife. The beautiful thing about being in today’s generation and society is that women have the power of choice. Unlike the unfortunate time when Brady wrote her essay, that wasn’t the case. In the past, men were often seen as the breadwinner of the family. Women were seen as less than men and oftentimes were forced to subject themselves to the painted image that they could never do things a man could do. Now, the saying is reversed and applied: women can do what men can do and vice-versa. This is the main reason why Brady wrote her essay the way she did.

Why I Want a Wife Summary: Judy Brady's Bold Challenge to Marital Norms and Gender Roles

She was representing wives who didn’t have a voice in her time, where women were below men. Nowadays, thanks to the development of the women’s rights movement and the rising stance on feminism, that mentality of the past is slowly fading. Today’s perspective on a wife’s role is different compared to the beliefs that Brady described. Wives are now seen as equal to their husbands, a partner, best friends, and the love of their lives. Throughout her essay, Judy Brady highlights and exploits the traditional and selfish expectations that men had of their wives. In a sarcastic tone, she lets her audience know why she would like a wife while describing the inequalities that women like her suffered and went through. As a writer, she hoped to give a voice to women who didn’t have a voice and didn’t have much of a say in anything in their marriages.

Brady clearly targeted her essay, particularly towards women who, in those times, felt and were trapped in ‘marriage’ slavery and obligations. She argues that women are being treated unfairly in marriages and feels that it is wrong to degrade women under the power and hierarchy of men. She challenges the gender role because she appears to be scared and exhausted of the duties that being a wife brings. Her main argument and focus throughout the essay is that a woman’s role in marriage is difficult and unequal to a man’s. Brady tries to persuade women to take a stand, to not be afraid to take action, and to stand up for themselves so that they don’t fall under the spell of this stereotype. There are many ways in which the role of a wife has changed in today’s society compared to the society in which Brady wrote her essay in 1971.

Evolution of Gender Roles: From Brady's Traditional Wife to Today's Fluid Dynamics

One of those ways is how gender roles in opposite-sex marriages have affected families. The old-fashioned idea of a wife can now be the ‘husband’ and work, while the husband plays the ‘wife’ and stays at home while looking after the children. In contrast to Brady’s essay, she claims that the man in the family is the one who goes to work, while his wife cooks, cleans, does the chores, and looks after the children. “I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturing attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc.” (Aaron, and Repetto 252).

In some families today, those gender roles are reversed; a wife and husband now make their decisions based on a mutual understanding of their unique circumstances. Some moms prefer to work, while husbands can do everything that moms can do. Stay-at-home dads can also struggle with the same things that moms do that Brady describes when the mom goes to work. However, in some cases, there are some families that lack a mother figure in their lives. To illustrate the point, there are families like the one in a popular T.V. sitcom, Full House, that exemplify that. The men in the house are the ones doing the mom’s work. This is just one of the many ways that the role of a wife has changed in gender roles throughout the years. Thanks to today’s open minds, unlike those with the mindset of Brady during the 70s, a male with a female gender identity can also take on a new twist in the gender role of being a wife. America’s attitudes towards these types of relationships have changed drastically.

Challenging Definitions: The Modern Evolution of 'Wife' and Marital Expectations

Men can also take on the role of being the ‘wife.’ While they may not be in an opposite-sex relationship, a man could also just as easily take on the duties of a wife. They can raise children, do the chores around the house, and even cook as a regular ideal woman that Judy Brady describes. The gaps in these types of marriages are diminishing as they find more ways to make a relationship stable and compatible. Despite the change that time brought, men and some women alike still feel that the old-fashioned wife mentality still remains the same, according to Brady’s definition. We live in a time where words and their meanings change every day. This has led to possible instability among some families because it questions everything. People argue that the main role of a wife is to be faithful to her husband, keeper of her home, and spiritually minded because that is the Bible’s definition of the word wife. People may often reject any other meaning or definition of the word “wife” because they refuse to accept change.

The future is happening now. As today becomes tomorrow and the past becomes history, so does the change in gender roles in families. In truth, the perfect wife doesn’t exist, and neither does a perfect husband. Despite many arguments that surround Brady’s idea of a perfect wife, one thing remains clear. Women are expected to do too much, just as equally as men are. It’s important for partners in any relationship to be aware of the type of problems that the inequalities of a marital relationship can arise. Despite the changes throughout the years, problems in these relationships still occur because of the inability to be compassionate and sympathetic to one another. Instead of being demanding of one another, it is important to be selfless as it is to be loving. After all, a marriage is supposed to be like two peas in a pod and not one.  

References

1. "I Want a Wife" by Judy Brady.
2. Friedan, Betty. "The Feminine Mystique."
3. Beauvoir, Simone de. "The Second Sex."
4. Hooks, Bell. "The Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center."

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