The Characteristics and Importance of True Friendship

Introduction

The late sociologist Zygmunt Bauman detailed the premise that solidarity with fellow human beings is quite often uprooted due to the apathy that fills contemporary society. However, he described how friendship is one of the few varied components of human interaction capable of reversing the dwindling levels of concern and support for others. True friends are those who understand each other fully and who cheer and advise one another according to each other's virtues and limitations. This is what we mean by true friendship.

The question that arises next is what remains essential and distinctive about friendship. Friendship or philia is one of the six forms of love. True friendship is an extended and substantial kind of affection because it is exclusive and unique to the two people interested in satisfying the mutual needs they require from each other. Aristotle describes a dispassionate love of liking, with a shared respect for the practical expression of the other's qualities and virtues, such as in a good business relationship. A complex issue in Aristotle's account of friendship arises when the question of whether a person could be friends with themselves comes up. Another definition states that because friends are conjoined in interpenetrating emotional and psychological dispositions, friendship may be defined in terms of personal identification; it is true friends who undergo consubstantiality. Moving away from dealing with standard definitions and their formulations and consistent theories, it is instructive to note that throughout history, friendship has tended to be taxed.

Key Characteristics of True Friendship

What makes a true friendship? Friends share a deep, mutual affection. They have stripped away all the things that might stand in the way of their relationship and have instead made their relationship a priority. They possess certain qualities and characteristics that connect them in a meaningful way. True friends respect and honor one another; they strive to understand one another. They are genuinely supportive of each other and treat each other with empathy and warmth. True friends share common interests, and when they are together, they experience a sense of delight and happiness. They also respect each other's differences; they understand that everyone is an individual and refrain from imposing their ideas of right or wrong on each other. Friends accept each other for who they really are, and in that acceptance, they allow one another to grow. True friends are genuinely present in their interactions together, paying close attention to one another and opening their hearts. They also listen to what their friend is saying without being a distraction. They provide emotional support and encourage one another. Whatever criticism is necessary is communicated in an honest and open way. Mutual respect forms a strong and abiding bond between friends. Exploring personal strengths can also establish a basis for strong connections. When friends believe that each other possesses specific and unique gifts or talents, they are encouraged to share and express their giftedness.

The Importance of True Friendship

True friendship has been noted over and over as the most important connection to have in life. Friendships are crucial to emotional well-being. People with one or more close friends tend to be less likely to report feeling stressed, anxious, and are likely to be diagnosed with a case of depression. Interpersonal relationships and supportive connections can and often do reduce levels of stress, leading to a sense of emotional well-being and ease. Having close friends has been linked to self-affirmation. Regular contact and supportive connections with our close circles strengthen our will and sense of hope. This combination is conducive to feelings of ease and well-being, solid emotional health.

Individuals with close friends communicate a sense of higher life satisfaction as well as fewer episodes of distress. These enduring qualities require investment and are characteristics that can flourish over time, through hearts and shared moments. True friendship assures people of their emotional needs and motivates favorable emotional states. The sharing of emotions and stresses with good friends can be psychologically and physically liberating or lifesaving. In short, genuine friendships can bolster one's emotional well-being and immune system.

The lack of authentic social connections can contribute to feelings of loneliness and alienation. Psychological research reinforces the notion that regular contact with close friends is crucial to forming supportive social circles coping with life's trials. Qualities in our emotional circles and support systems can be protective factors against feelings of loneliness. The stress of loneliness can create a range of physical ailments like hypertension or limit one's immune system. Because of the physical consequences of social deprivation, nurturing positive friendships is at a premium. More than ever, establishing friendships and seeking psychological health can be thought of as linked. Loneliness has been on the rise, perhaps in part due to declining social circles and lower contact with our close circles.

Cultivating and Nurturing

There are key ways to create and sustain true friendships. Being intentional about this process is important. Intentionality fosters connections that are a good match or fit, links whose development draws on biological inclinations and capitalizes on the power of ongoing and regular reinforcement. Sometimes, we slowly realize that we are in a friendship that fulfills in ways we could not have predicted at the start. With a strong foundation, we can adopt more productive relationship norms and practices—themselves a function of flexible strategies, used in different degrees, for flavoring friendship to its unique combinations of personalities—for what is called “cultivating in the second person.” Cultivating in the first person is doing what is rewarding for me, working from intention.

Several practices can increase the likelihood that friendship in the second person becomes the third-person friendship—the durable, enduring, enjoyable ties at issue here. Practicing these habits forges ties such that emotions of grief at losing a close friend are genuine, not just due to the memories or time invested in the relationship. Importantly, these strategies are the means by which we may cultivate in the second person our relationships with new friends, old friends, and lost friends we wish to greet again. These friend-making and friend-keeping practices sit on a base in which individuals hold, or at least hold out hope for, compatible perspectives and values. Yet, these practices are also central because sometimes we don’t know enough right now, and we need to practice to learn more about love, family, friendship, and the individual relationships that it involves. Established friendship does not guarantee successful relating in each unique encounter, but practice underwrites an unfulfilled or ambivalent relationship.

Case Studies and Examples

This section takes up this analysis by looking at some 'case studies' of true friendship in the lifetime of a range of people. At one level, these friendship stories might be seen as just that, part of the colorful messiness of life and the real-life aspect of friendships, however shocking, surprising, and humbling. At another, they might show, in the concrete particularity of these friendships, the conjunction between theory on the one hand and life on the other.

Fatima said that she felt betrayed by Islam. All her friends had rejected her when she sought sanctuary, and befriending a Christian in Egypt would have meant death. Having landed in the UK and living with a devout Islamic family, she really did find a friend in the daughter of the house. Her father, unhappy with his new position in Liverpool, such a long way from the cosmopolitan city of London that he had hoped through his status as a medic to claim from the authorities, wanted to return; so he did. I lost Fatima, not knowing if she escaped a forced marriage or worse. In fact, it was only years later that I discovered her and we were able to exchange stories...and hope.

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