Losing a Family Member

Grief often arises as a result of some kind of loss, such as the death of a loved one, a breakup in a relationship, or loss of a job. Grief is an individual experience, and everyone has the right to grieve in their own way. What one person considers a minor loss can be a great grief for another. The manifestation of grief, inter alia, is influenced by personal characteristics, previous losses, the nature of the loss that caused grief, as well as the support received in this situation.

Sometimes people expect grief to manifest itself in some known way, such as crying at a funeral or discussing an incident. However, the ways of grieving are individual; not all people are able or willing, for example, to show their feelings in the presence of others. Someone is trying to overcome grief with vigorous activity. Some may be dumbfounded or shocked when others begin to deal with what happened. Stereotypes about grief can contribute to anxiety. A person who has experienced a terrible loss forgets that he also has a right to joy in the good moments of life. The grieving person experiences the incident for himself and not for other people.

Grief can evoke a variety of emotions: deep longing, a desire to reject what happened, feelings of rejection, insecurity, anxiety, guilt and anger. The physical body can also respond to grief: head and stomach aches, memory lapses, fatigue, rigidity, and, for example, symptoms of panic disorder. As a consequence of the traumatic crisis in grief, various hallucinatory phenomena are possible. A person may, for example, believe that he hears the voice of the deceased.

Sad feelings and thoughts often come in waves, and some day can be harder than another. Gradually, emotions begin to smooth out, and a person can continue life with the awareness of loss. Sometimes the period of grief can be prolonged or transformed into depression, in such cases, a person especially needs outside help.

Read the case description: When grief does not let go

Ways to Overcome Grief
Listed below are the various coping strategies that people use when experiencing grief.

Analysis of what happened and awareness of the event as a whole
Some overcome their grief by gathering information about what happened. They try to make the most complete possible picture of what happened and thereby understand everything in the best possible way. Awareness of integrity and sufficient information about events help them to analyze their grief and changed life situation.

It must be remembered that it is also important for the child to get enough information about what happened so that he does not have to fantasize about the course of events. Nevertheless, it is better to tell the child about what happened taking into account his age. Read more about childhood grief.

Dependence on other people
Many people are encouraged to belong to a group or organization where they can share their experiences or engage in joint activities. For centuries, people have experienced grief throughout the world. Getting social support and being able to talk about what happened is important for almost all people who are grieving. Social support, in addition to relatives, can also be obtained in peer support groups.

Awareness and creativity
Expressing your emotions in different ways can help you come to terms with loss. In addition to discussing feelings, mourning, describing, painting, dancing, or music can contribute to the experience of grief. The desire to be aware of difficult and frightening experiences can help recuperate.

Experiencing anger when grieving is common, but nonetheless, many people find it difficult to talk about it. It is necessary to talk about unkind thoughts and emotions or try to overcome them in any other way that seems to be the most preferable. If you try to deny any emotions that have arisen, they, most likely, can return for a long time after what happened or significantly slow down recovery.

Seeking help from a religion or worldview
Being able to protect yourself with a worldview or religion can help restore hope for rebirth, trust in life and its meaning.

Physical activity
Taking care of your physical well-being and vitality can reduce grief-related stress. Exercise, such as running or harvesting wood, can, among other things, increase the production of pleasure hormones, as well as distract from thoughts of grief. Adequate sleep and nutrition are extremely important for maintaining strength.

Observance of rituals
Various rituals usually help to cope with grief. For example, in the event of death, participation in a funeral is important for many.

Seeking professional help
If necessary, you should seek help from professionals, for example, the crisis service.

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