Achieving my Dreams by Understanding how they Work
Dreams motivate, allow you to achieve the impossible, and raise your own bar. But there is an important detail: it is not so easy to separate your own desires from those imposed by society, advertising, and other people. Can you learn to dream right?
Barbara Sher Method
Psychologist Barbara Sher wrote Wishcraft back in 1979, but the method she proposed has survived the past 40 years perfectly, as evidenced by numerous reprints of the book. It is based on the belief that each of us has a unique dream or dreams (of a wide variety of scales) that can be reformulated into life goals, and that everyone has every right to realize those goals. The challenge is to clearly define what exactly we dream about, and then use the algorithm proposed by the author to turn dreams into reality. Here is a series of exercises designed to help you determine what your ultimate dream is.
Exercise 1. Who do you think you are?
Take a piece of paper and describe yourself in a few sentences. Hint: do not write about age, occupation, marital status. The question is what you love and what is really interesting to you.
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How it works
Exercise 2. Your original self
Grab a new piece of paper and try to immerse yourself in the memories of your childhood. What was most important to you in the first years of your life? What were you dreaming about then? Do you feel that you are still interested and important in any of these memories and desires? What activities or profession can these childhood hobbies be converted into?
Exercise 3. Who You Could Become
Imagine that as you were growing up, your parents and other significant adults in your life have always supported you in all your endeavors and dreams. That you were not told that first you need to get a “real” profession, and then try yourself in something “frivolous”. Who would you become if your interests were always encouraging and supporting you at any difficult moment? Don’t be shy about your imagination.
Now that you have managed to remember what was (and still is) important to you, it’s time for the next batch of exercises.
Exercise 4. Choose a color and describe its qualities
If you have a box of pencils at home, great. If there is no box, then use the online tool to pick the color you like at the moment. Now role-play this color. Describe the qualities of this color, speaking on its behalf. For example: “I am orange, I am warm, cheerful, and bright.” This exercise, like everyone else, has no correct answers. It is important because it gives us a sense of our own uniqueness when we understand that our vision of the chosen color is only ours.
Exercise 5. Playing a private detective
Take a close look at your apartment with the eyes of a detective who needs to compose a verbal portrait of a stranger by examining his place of residence. Who lives here? Is the house clean or a “creative mess”? What books does this person read (and does he read)? What’s in his fridge? Does some color or material prevail in the interior? What’s in the wardrobe? We collect our life piece by piece, not always realizing that there is some kind of system behind it, but a person who first came to our house will most likely be able to isolate some patterns.
Exercise 6. Side View
It is very difficult for us to praise ourselves and find strengths in ourselves. Our entire culture is imbued with the idea that people who do not hesitate to praise themselves are unpleasant upstarts. But, if you really want to understand what you dream about and start acting in this direction, you need to understand your best qualities. It will be ideal if you find the strength to ask for a glance from one of your close friends or your partner. But there are two rules. First, ask the speaker to be as specific as possible, while avoiding any criticism, no matter how constructive it may seem. Second, your task in this exercise is simply to write down everything the praiser tells you. Don’t interrupt. Don’t argue. If you find it too difficult to listen to forehead praise, ask your exercise partner to write it down on a piece of paper.
What if the thought of asking someone for praise breaks down in a cold sweat? How about becoming that friend to yourself? You really know your best qualities, you just need permission to say these words out loud and write them down on paper.
First, he advises to indulge in daydreams every day, setting aside a special time for this. You can start with 10-15 minutes, gradually bringing the time devoted to lucid dreams, up to half an hour 3-4 times a day. The first session of dreams can be arranged right in the morning, without getting out of bed yet. If you find it difficult to find time during the day, remember that work breaks always happen – in line at the bank, on the way to the subway, or while you load dirty dishes into the dishwasher. If you think that by deliberately setting aside so much time for “inaction” you are jeopardizing your productivity, keep in mind that daydreaming is an absolutely normal state inherent in all people, and any person spends in a state of dreams from half an hour to several hours every day.