How to Overcome the Challenge and Love myself

As Marianne Williamson once said,¨The challenges we face in life are always lessons that serve our soul's growth¨. A challenge came up in my life towards the middle of my tenth grade year that could have messed up my future and I, but I decided to overcome that challenge.

I can say that this challenge affected me in a way in which I have never been affected before, but I learned about many things through this experience. Challenges that come up in life are difficult, but they help gain experiences and gain new types of wisdom.

The biggest challenge that I have faced came to be because of my family. Family should be there for you when something unspeakable happens, but sadly for me they caused the most misfortune in my life. In November of my tenth grade year, my family and I found out that one of my uncles recorded me when I was undressing to get into the shower. Knowing that one of the men I had been so comfortable around growing up could have done something like this to me really affected me. Another way that this situation affected me was my whole family feeling bad for my aunt and treating her as the victim and dismissing how I felt about the whole situation.

This situation caused many events to happen. The police was called not only because of the video, but also because of death threats were being made by members of my family to other members of my family. The police being involved eventually led to a social services worker showing up at my house unexpectedly. The social services worker then ended up contacting the school which led me to see a counselor at school. I also ended up being visited by a sheriff at school to get questioned about all the events that were taking place at home. Along with talking to all these people, I also started seeing a psychologist often. All these events ended up affecting me academically and mentally.

Me being academically affected by these events can be seen throughout my transcript for my tenth grade year. No matter how much I tried to not be affected by what was happening at home, I still ended up being affected. During classes I wouldn't be able to concentrate because I would be thinking about what was happening at home and what could happen if things were to escalate more than they already had.

I struggled the most when it came to homework because while at home too many things were going on that distracted me from getting assignments done. In the end things got too hard for me to handle so I gave up on my school work in tenth grade. I ended up getting three D’s for my second semester n classes that I could have easily passed if I wouldn’t have gone through what I did.

I got affected mentally more than I did academically. I remember when I first found out about what happened I couldn’t be inside any restroom. I was scared to be in a restroom alone, I felt like my every move was being recorded. When it came to me taking a shower I needed my sister to be inside the restroom with me so I could feel somewhat comfortable with me being inside. I started having nightmares about what happened. I would wake up in the middle night sweating being I would be dreaming about being locked in a restroom while having people record me and there being cameras everywhere. I would even be paranoid. At this time I had a boyfriend, but I hated when even he looked at me because I couldn’t stand having someone looking at me. I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone anymore, especially not a male.

During this time I didn’t feel comfortable in my skin and hated when people paid even just a little bit of attention to me. I would like to say that these events are far behind me, but that isn’t true. Up to this day I still have to see a psychologist to express everything I still feel because of this trauma. I am still paranoid when it comes to being inside a restroom, I still feel like someone is watching my every move while I am in there.

I still happen to have these nightmares, when I get these nightmares I end up missing school the next day because I still wake up sweating and feeling like I am unable to breathe. I believe that part of the reason that I am still like this is because up until now I still don’t which one of my uncles did this to me. Most of my family has decided to forget that this even happened and decided to go with their “perfect” lives. I am expected to just let everything go and go on with my life, but that isn’t something that I think that I will ever be able to do.

Although this traumatic event really challenged me, I was able to gain wisdom and learn how to overcome unexpected events in life. I was able to fix myself when it comes to academics. I made up the classes that I got a D for and was able to get good grades during my eleventh grade year, grades that I hope that I will be able to still improve throughout my twelfth grade year. I feel that through this experience I have learned how to be stronger for myself and learn how to love myself. I became stronger because through everything that happened I was able to stay on feet and try to improve my life.

I owe it to myself to try and take gradual steps forward to be able to better my life and distance myself from this situation as much as I can. I learned to love myself because through this experience I realized that nobody is ever going to be there for me like I will. The only person I can rely on to improve my life and be able to help me forward is myself. Although this chapter of my life hasn’t officially come to a full end, I have decided to close this chapter of my life to be able to keep on moving forward and to see what else life has instore for me.

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