Single Parents: Positive Single Parenting

Being a single parent is incredibly challenging, especially if the family is headed by a woman. She must provide and care for her children, including cooking, feeding, clothing, and transporting them, all while maintaining a career. It is essential for her to spend time raising her children, providing them with experiences, activities, and inspiration, all while managing her own professional development. She engages in shaping the futures of her children, guiding them towards establishing their own lives. Until her children marry or secure jobs, they rely solely on her.

After this, her challenges considerably decrease. Money is a significant concern for a majority of single mothers. Their emotional wellbeing is also impacted by their single status. Many single mothers report feeling lonely, helpless, hopeless, and lacking confidence and identity. In social situations, the majority of single mothers avoid attending parties and have even altered their dress style due to depression. They often develop poor nutritional habits. The majority of these mothers find it challenging to maintain discipline among their children in the absence of a male figure. They complain of loneliness, suffering, and depression, and struggle with the responsibility of childcare and establishing a routine for their children.

My name is Jessy, and I am a 32-year-old single mother to three wonderful children. My spouse recently passed away in a fatal road accident. After getting married and having two children, I stopped working at my job of ten years to better care for my children. However, my spouse's passing has left us feeling incredibly lonely. As a hardworking individual, I am driven to work independently to support my children. Unfortunately, finding a job has been a struggle. Countless resumes have been handed out, and I have been to numerous job interviews. Despite all the rejections and various hardships, I have not given up hope.

At last, I have started working as an administrator at Lee Chen Wah Sdn Bhd, a local company conveniently located near my house and my children's school. Upon joining, I sought to find a balance in my work life. My working hours proved to be quite flexible, a necessity especially given the stage my child is at in his schooling. I often need to pick him up, attend my sister's events, and be present for various other occasions. Therefore, having a flexible working schedule is a boon. Being a single parent, I have the sole responsibility for every aspect of day-to-day child care, and this has really built my confidence.

Not too long ago, I heard rumors about my company downsizing and needing some employees to resign soon. This naturally caused me a great deal of worry. I was unsure whether to believe or ignore the news, so I decided to ask my colleagues Rita, Shidi, and Janet for their perspectives. Unfortunately, they confirmed the rumors, attributing them to the considerable debts the company has amassed. I found this puzzling given that our business appears stable and customer demand seems constantly on the rise. In my confusion, I sought clarity from other colleagues, Zana, Ramli, and Jamil, who work at the management level. According to them, the news was just a gossip and the company is still in good shape.

They advised me to cross-check the news through various sources, including discussion with higher-level staff from the company itself and the analysis of company-related information available on the internet and in newspapers. After all, the term 'human resources' evolved in the 1960s precisely to highlight the importance of such probing and understanding. Concurring, I investigated further about the company on the internet and through the latest newspaper reports.

As discussed earlier, the news originated from gossip. I understand that gossip is a natural and inevitable occurrence in the workplace. It can be a force for good by fostering camaraderie through daily socialization. However, gossip risks becoming its malign twin: workplace rumor. According to Stanford business professor Chip Heath, it's nearly impossible for workplaces to halt the rumor mill entirely. Instead, to address the rumor issue, organizations must join the discussion, perhaps by creating a business-centric forum on the company's website or holding regular staff meetings to address concerns. Determining the truth behind corporate gossip can help alleviate employee anxiety about potential job losses or significant changes. Ensuring employees feel secure contributes to their overall productivity.

Gossip is a diversion at work and can go too far, turning into badgering. I shouldn't hesitate to engage HR if there's an issue I can't resolve on my own. The majority of employers have an employee handbook that prohibits harassment. If the gossiper doesn't stop after our confrontation, it can be considered as harassment. Document it and report it. Gossip and negativity in the workplace are usually symptoms of deeper problems such as jealousy, insecurity, miscommunication, and overall dissatisfaction. I can combat my colleagues' negativity by being positive and cheerful. As the saying goes, "I must be the change I want to see in the world."

If a situation is toxic and showing no signs of improving, then perhaps I shouldn't be there anymore. It will impact both me and my children's lives. I must act quickly, always keeping my resume updated and applying for jobs in other companies within my skill set. The better I become professionally, the more I can provide for my children. Furthermore, I can consider starting my own business as a source of income. Ideally, I can execute both the plans in parallel: running a business and working a job.

As a single parent, I must be able to balance my time and priorities to provide for my children while also remaining emotionally available to them. Starting my own business could be the key to achieving my personal and career aspirations. For instance, opening a daycare service in my home could be quite practical and profitable. Other than the potential financial benefit, working from home and being able to spend time with my children are fantastic benefits of a home-based daycare business. As a result, I could even save on daycare expenses for my three children.

Being passionate about teaching, starting a tutoring business would be a wonderful opportunity for me. I can easily start this from home and maintain flexible working hours. It requires being skilled in the subject that I would like to tutor and reaching out to local students. Even after a full day of work, I could continue tutoring. Alternatively, I could become a florist. Flowers are in demand throughout the year, and if I have a love for flowers and know how to arrange and display them beautifully, then starting a florist business could be very profitable for me. Catering to special occasions or events could also provide massive financial gains.

Being a single parent, I need to find the balance between taking care of my family and running a business. A handmade business could work best for me. This could give me an opportunity to channel my creativity and work from home with easily accessible supplies. E-commerce platforms, like Etsy, Lazada, and Amazon, make it possible for me to sell my products to customers around the world. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp are also incredibly helpful for conducting business from home.

Do you appreciate home structure and decorating? Then an interior design business might be the perfect choice for you. The desire to make our surroundings more beautiful is a great motivation to enter the interior design business. I can assist people with limited budgets by home staging or decorating their homes with items they already own.

Do you have a passion for makeup or hair styling? Starting a beauty salon might be the ideal business for you. A beauty salon is one of the most popular choices among women starting their own business for the first time. Given the various options, I can choose the most suitable alternative that can provide a secure life with good earnings. I plan to execute both business and a job in parallel, as the most sensible safety net. This way, I can have a stable income from both job and business activities. With the current economic status, it's hard to raise my three children with minimum salary and depending on one job.

You're probably thinking about a business idea. It's likely something you've been considering for a while. And you're probably ready to turn your business idea into a reality.

As part of the planning stage, you'll need to gather information, do research, and ensure that your business idea is viable. During this information gathering stage, there's a small list of people you should talk with before proceeding with larger steps like applying for a bank loan or acquiring a business space. To assist you on your business journey, take the time to speak with these five people:

Family, friends, bankers, a trusted advisor or business coach, and a lawyer or accountant.

Family

One of the first people I need to talk with about this new business is my family. It seems like a no-brainer, right? However, some people get so caught up in their business idea that they fail to have a genuine sit-down conversation about how the business could affect their relationships, finances, and free time.

“Starting a new business can be all-consuming, and the support of my family will make all the difference. It's essential to know whether my family is ready for the commitment and time that starting a successful business will take.”

A depended on adviser or business educate

Getting a recommendation from someone in the enterprise field is always an excellent idea. Whether I'm starting my first business or my fifth, talking with someone who can provide me with unbiased business advice will truly be beneficial.

"I need someone who has been where I am and understands what there is to lose, as well as to win. Business owners need someone who understands them and their business, and is objective enough to keep the vision tied to the reality."

Ideally, this person can continue to provide advice for years—not just as I plan my business, but also as it grows.

A Banker

A lot of marketers obtain at least a part of their financing through a traditional bank loan. If I plan to borrow money, I will need to find a trusted banker to help me through the application process. I may also want to ask my business adviser to recommend a banker, or I could ask other business colleagues for a referral.

The smart way to start a business is with as much information as possible. By speaking with these five people, the foundation for success will be firm and well-grounded.

A Lawyer

Starting an enterprise involves some legal hoops, so I need to talk with an attorney. For example, should I start an LLC, an S-Corp, or an Inc.? An attorney can provide me with advice and draw up the legal paperwork to ensure my business structure meets my goals and limits liability.

An attorney can also help me define business relationships. Maybe I borrowed money from one of my peers in exchange for equity in the company, or perhaps I plan to start a corporation with several partners. Whatever the situation, I need legal documents to set boundaries and minimize future disputes.

I want to improve my method of doing both business and work. I will focus on planning, decision-making, organizing, and budgeting.

Planning

It is the process of determining in advance what should be accomplished, when, by whom, how, and at what cost. Long-range planning is fundamentally important as it focuses attention on critical future issues that are vitally important to the organization. Strategic planning has been defined as that which involves determining the basic objectives of an organization and allocating resources to their achievement.

Decision making

Decisions should be made admirably under fluctuating conditions with various measures of information about options and results. Decisions are concerned with the future and might be made under states of certainty, states of risk, or states of uncertainty.

Organizing

Organizing is the process of establishing formal relationships among people and resources in order to achieve specific goals and objectives. It is a method of creating defined connections among individuals and assets to reach predetermined targets.

Budgeting

The spending at that point becomes a guide, which, however, may always be in a state of change. The budgeting process isn't merely a yearly task; it is a continuous process of regular review and possible revision. One should always be assessing how one's performance compares to the initial expectations.

Single-parent rearing has become more common and accepted in Malaysia. Being a single parent is terrifying, confusing and overwhelming, but it can also be very rewarding. Single or not, I am my children's parent and the most important tools I possess are my love for my children, my wisdom, and my common sense. These kids are significantly emotionally influenced by the quality and quantity of love and compassion invested in their upbringing. Regardless of the family structure, it must be one of respect and strong moral values that they can someday pass on to their own families. Children might feel they have lost a protector or a guide, leading to feelings of loss. This sense of loss could escalate to high rates of anxiety and aggression and children using their troubled emotions to manipulate their parents. If I do my best, learn from my mistakes (and I learn something new every day) and love my children along the way, I am doing all that any parent, single or married, can ever do. It is crucial for society and governmental aids to notice these fundamental differences and take action. There should be government-funded programs to support single parent families with childcare and finances.

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