Children Grow up Without a Father

Approximately 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States go through a divorce at least once in their lifetime. Some reasons for divorce are extreme such as abuse or neglect of family. Some are simple, such as being in an unhappy relationship or finances. Bringing a little human into the world and teaching them what is right and what is wrong, and not to mention equipping them with the skills to live a happy and healthy life make parenting a tremendously challenging, especially on your own.

Though often times parents never take the children’s feelings into any sort of consideration and completely disregard the emotional burden the child, and the parent being left has to go through because of the absence of a person that was always around, yet parents still make the decision to pack up and leave them all alone.

In the poem “In the Park” by Gwen Harwood explains how a woman’s life revolves solely around her children and shows her sense of worth diminished. Many women can relate to Harwood with the struggles and emotions that the mother portrayed throughout the poem. Life has many hardships, people go through things they would have never though they would have to, but they get through it and eventually grow from it. My mom started at rock bottom when my dad left the three of us and from that she grew and found although raising two children on your own is extremely hard, and eventually breaks you in more ways than you could ever think.

When I was about three years old, my mom and dad were both 21 years old, still had their whole life ahead of them. My mother had two jobs to support me and my older brother, Jake. My dad on the other hand, was around then, but not much. He would claim to have a job but never brought in any sort of payment to help my mom with the bills. He was always in and out and never really stuck around to support and help my mom raise me and Jake. When my dad left I do not know he understood the emotional burden it had on my brother and me to have him around and the for him to just leave again. Studies show “that research on animals shows that [only] a year of stress early in development tends to have permanent effects” (independent.uk.co). Meaning that just one year of being in and out of a developing child’s life can damage them for a whole lifetime.

Growing up, I often saw my mom struggle. Can you blame her? Raising two kids one year apart would be challenging for anyone, especially doing it alone. In the poem “At the Park” Harwood illustrates that the fact that the mother no longer lives the same life she had in the pastime. “Her clothes are out of date” (Harwood 940) says Harwood, this suggests the mother only wears or uses old things which leads me to believe that she doesn’t have the time or money to make a good life for herself because she is giving all of her focus and energy on her children. I can relate to what Harwood is saying here because my mother would give me and my brother everything she had and never once did anything for herself. She always made sure we had what we needed no matter what the circumstances were to get it. Growing up she struggled mentally after my dad cheated on her and left for good, Although I know it broke my mom in more ways than I can name, my father leaving was the best thing for my family. He was never good at being a dad, or a person at that, after he left he became no existent in my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Him leaving made me find it hard to trust people and never believing someone when they made me a promise. I believe he damaged me in more ways than I know. Regardless of what my mother would say but I think everything happens for a reason, and it was for the best,

There is no easy way to put it raising children on your own is simply exhausting “They have eaten me alive” (Harwood 940) models that the main message of the poem, “In the Park” is that because this mother no longer living her own life but instead is a victim to her children. They have life by ‘eating’ her alive the poems main focus shows the negative aspects of being a mother and family life. Once I reached the age to understand the real struggles my mother went through I never knew that things were once so bad for her. My mother got diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, which is a disorder A disorder associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from very depressive lows to manic highs. about a year after my father left. A few years ago, my mother told me that back then she always thought about taking her own life because of how hard it was for her to put food on the table for two toddlers every night without any financial help of my absent father. She informed me that me and Jake were the only reason she never ended her life early.

My mom she admits that we were the reason she did not take her own life she admits that we literally took everything she had and made her feel smothered. I believe that she didn’t save her life for herself, she did it for Jake and me. Likewise, to the poem “At the Park” Gwen Harwood shows the woman is feeling suffocated by her children. She also does not enjoy life like she used too and regrets the path that she has chosen for herself. In the poem Hardwood says “someone she loved once passes by- too late” (Hardwood 940) about the woman meeting a past lover and how their separate lives have developed. The author proposes that the man spends his time thanking God that he did not end up being with the woman and her children. I never knew at a young age how much my mother had to give up for herself just to make us happy and healthy. She went above and beyond for everything we needed in life and I will forever be thankful for the struggles she went through to get us there.

In conclusion, with the divorce rate in the united states being extremely high, there are a lot of mothers who have to learn to raise the children all on their own. In Gween Harwood’s poem, she does a great job of painting a picture for the readers of just how hard it is raising kids on your own as a single mother. Many women can convey to Harwood with the battles and hardships that the mother represented during the poem. Life has many destitutions, and many people go through things alone without the help of anyone else. My mom is a perfect example after my dad us. From that, she grew and, unfortunately, found that raising two kids all alone is tremendously hard and eventually destroys you mentally and physically.

Works Cited

1. Gwen Harwood. “In the Park.” The Norton Introduction to Literature. Shorter 12th ed. New York: W. W. Norton & Co., 2017.
2. How Often Can A Parent Psychologically Damage Their Child.” The Independent, Independent Digital News and Media, www.independent.co.uk/us.
3. “Research on Marriage & Divorce.” American Psychological Association, American Psychological Association, www.apa.org/topics/divorce    

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